Another Facebook Post

And another in the long line of “borrowed” Facebook posts from my adult daughter.

 

Just in case anyone is a new Facebook friend of mine and still curious what it’s like to have children, let me lay out my day for ya:
-I was awoken at 7am by blood curdling screams…for a banana.
-after cuddling my son for 30 minutes, I realized poop had leaked from his diaper, onto my leg.
-I showered at 1:30pm. I think? Did I shower? Or was that a dream? It was an embarrassingly long time after the poop incident, if I did.
-my four year old spent just over 15 minutes sitting in the middle of the floor, silent, doing nothing, moving nary an inch, locked in a stare off with me until she decided to tell me why I found her lunch in an empty box by the garbage.
-there is lipstick on the toilet seat. I’m trying not to think about this one too hard.
-therea toothpaste on my phone, but I don’t remember brushing my teeth.
-realized that “Throw this away” evidently translates to “Toss this down the laundry shoot” to my 20 month old. This discovery came today when I happened upon a collection of dirty diapers amidst the laundry I was sorting.
-I’m still drinking my cold coffee at 8pm.

They haven’t been put to bed yet, so I’m sure there’s still time for more shenanigans, but by then I will be deep into a Blue Moon and too tired to reminisce.